Trial By Fire
by SnarkySidekick
Summary: Voldemort is rising, and the once naive students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are forced to grow up and face danger and reality. But when Lily is forced to face her own horrors, James Potter is the only one who can help her get past them.
1. Chapter 1: Going Back

Chapter One: Going Back

The windy afternoon drifted to a close. The girl's fiery red hair whipped around her face as she inhaled the warm summer air with the first hint of autumn. Excitement danced in her sparkling green eyes as she thought of the following morning. She hummed to herself as she sat in a swing at a children's playground.

"Hey."

She turned her head to look at the speaker.

"What do you need, Severus," she said, more of a statement than a question.

"Are you sad?" the 17-year old boy asked, walking slowly over to the swing set and sitting sown next to the girl.

"About what?" she asked, tersely, after a pause.

"That its our last year. That we're never going back."

Silence.

"I wish it was different," he continued, "I wish we were still, you know, friends."

The girl stood and turned to look at him sadly, with a bitter expression on her face.

"Me, too. But that doesn't change who you are, what you've done." She turned and began to walk away.

"Stop, Lily!"

When she didn't, he whispered, "Figures. Filthy little Mudblood."

That made her stop. Lily turned slowly around. "See, _Sev_? That's why we can't be friends. Because you made all the wrong choices. And anyone who doesn't agree with you and your so called death eaters are as good as dirt." She snapped, her eyes flashing, and turned and walked away.

Tossing the last book in his stuffed trunk, James Potter turned and admired his messy room.

The door opened and a tiny creature with huge ears and eyes rushed up to him and squeaked, "Is there anything I can get master Potter before he goes?"

The tall boy ruffled his jet-black hair, smiled, and shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. Thanks, Tilly." He patted her fondly on the head and continued, "I'm gonna miss you!"

The house-elf let out a high-pitched squawk and hugged James's knees. He chucked.

After she left, he took one last look out the window at the Potter Mansion's grounds, his messy room, dragged his trunk out the door, and proceeded down the hallway, when he heard a "PRONGS!!" and found himself tackled to the floor with a 17-year old boy on his back. James groaned; he knew what was coming.

"MY HAIR IS PINK!!" bellowed Sirius Black in his ear. "ITS PINK!!"

As hard as it was, James managed to laugh- hysterically.

"CHANGE-IT-BACK!!!" shouted Sirius, emphasizing every word by elbowing James in the stomach. James gasped and spluttered, and finally gave in.

"Alright, alright!" he coughed. Sirius grunted in satisfaction as he got off James so he could change his hair back to his usual shaggy, ink-black mop. James slowly sat up, moaning and groaning, pretending he was actually hurt.

"I think you broke my pelvis, Padfoot!" He writhed on the ground, clutching his ribs.

"What the _heck_ is a pelvis and how would I break it?! Never mind, just _change me_ _BACK_!" James chuckled, got out his wand, flicked it, and Sirius's hair returned to its normal black.

"BOYS! Time to GO!" yelled Emma Potter, James's mum and practically Sirius's as well.

"Coming!" they replied simultaneously, and made their way downstairs and to King's Cross Station.

Lily turned to her parents.

"Well."

"Oh, Lily!" cried her mother, throwing her arms around the redhead. Petunia made a gagging sound. "John! Oh, this is the last time we'll ever take our Lily to the station! Oh!" she started crying, finally releasing Lily and putting an arm around her husband, John, Evans's, waist. He put his own arm comfortingly around her shoulders and smiled down proudly at his youngest daughter.

"Oh, don't worry about me, Mum! I'll be fine. Promise!" she smiled, squeezing Rose Evans's hand.

"Our little girl is growing up so fast!" she wept.

Lily glanced at the clock and said, "I have to go, its 25 minutes til eleven, and I have to get ready to brief the prefects."

"We'd better let you go, then, hadn't we." Her father beamed. "We love you," he said, letting go of his wife and enveloping Lily in a hug and whispering in her ear, "Make me proud. And knock 'em dead!" He kissed her on the cheek and as soon as he let go her mother hugged her again, her flowery perfume overwhelming Lily. She kissed her on the cheek and said, "I love you, mum!"

"I love you, too, my dear."

When they parted, Lily approached the now disgusted Petunia.

"Tuney, I- "

"Don't even speak to me," she spat, and walked away.

Lily felt a brief spasm of pain and blinked back the pricking in her eyes as she watched her only sister walking away through the train station. She turned, giving one last cheery wave to her parents, grabbed her trolley, and slipped through the red brick barrier between platforms nine and ten.

Mrs. Evans sighed and said, wiping away tears, "It's a strange world we live in, John."

"Strange, but wonderful," he agreed.

"Strange, but wonderful," she echoed, "Indeed."

As Lily stepped through the barrier and saw the massive train and all the witches and wizards, she felt the feeling of belonging she had been aching for all summer. She sighed happily, the scene with Petunia all but forgotten.

"Lily!" she heard, and turned to see a tall girl with long mousy brown hair, blue eyes, and a light blue sundress making her way through the crowd as quickly as she could.

"Alice!" Lily exclaimed, ecstatic at seeing her best friend for the first time since June. They hugged, and when Lily pulled back to look at her, she said, "I missed you this summer! It was awful."

"How were Petunia and her pet whale, Dursley?" Lily chuckled softly, but her insides froze as she remembered their painful parting. Her friend, sensing the drastic change in her, forgot the question she had asked previously and quickly started describing her "amazing" summer that she spent with her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, of two years. Lily leapt at the subject change, all too eager to forget about Petunia.

They made their way to the train, chatting animatedly the whole way, excited for the upcoming year.


	2. Chapter 2: Potter

Chapter Two

James looked around the platform, scanning the area for a certain redheaded girl. He fingered the two badges on his robes absentmindedly and loosened his tie, oblivious to the fact that Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew had joined them.

"James!" Sirius shook him. "Look who's here!"

James turned and upon seeing his two fellow Marauders, bellowed, "REMY!! AHHHH!!!!" He grabbed Remus, hugged him violently, and proceeded to throw him aside, open his arms and bellow, "PETEY!" and put the short boy with mousey brown hair into a headlock.

"Remus!" said a familiar voice. James turned to see Lily and Remus hug and asked about each other's summers.

"Well, you know Petunia…" Lily said airily, barely hiding the hurt note in her voice. Remus smiled understandingly.

"Lilyflower! How lovely for you to join us!" said Sirius, putting an arm around her shoulder and telling her about how "devastatingly ravishing" she looked. She rolled her eyes and attempted to push him away.

James, feeling this little scene had gone on long enough, then bellowed a third time, saying "LILYKINS!!" and pulled the redhead into a bear hug.

"James Potter, PUT- ME- DOWN! I- can't- breathe!" she huffed, squirming and looking extremely small compared to six-foot-three James.

"Oh, sorry, dearest. Shan't happen again." James said as he let her down and she stepped away, frowning.

"_Don't _call me that." She said, exasperated.

"Okay, as long as you'll go out wi-"

"No." she said bluntly, walking away. "Bye, Remus! Sirius!" she waved, and smirked at James while smiling at the others.

James stood there, looking put out, while Sirius patted him on the back and called back to Lily, "G'bye, Lily, love!" and then turning to James and saying, "Harsh. Tough luck, mate."

"Maybe next time," Remus encouraged.

"Somehow, I doubt that," said Peter.

"Shut it, wormy," said Sirius, cheerily, forcefully patting him on the back, causing him to stagger forward a few feet.

"Let's go get on the train. I'm sure you'll want to shock Lily with the fact you're Head Boy," Remus said, smirking and shoving James in the train's general direction.

Peter seemed to choke on his own spit. "H-head – head BOY?! James?! HA!! Uh… I mean, congrats, good on you, mate," he corrected himself upon seeing James's angry expression. "Heh, heh," he chuckled nervously. James lifted an eyebrow darkly.

They continued towards the train, all the while being constantly dogged by girls asking how their summers were and flirting.

"Sorry, I've got to get to the train," James apologized to a couple of girls as he and Remus made their way through the crowd while Sirius and Peter basked in Sirius's attention.

James and Remus let out a relieved sigh as they finally got onto the train, stowed their trunks, and made their way to the Prefects and Head's Cabin. James left Remus at his cabin and walked to the second one, opening the door silently and standing there, watching Lily get ready for the meeting, with her being completely oblivious to almost everything. James ad never really had an opportunity to see Lily in muggle clothes, and now that he did, he couldn't look away. She was wearing jean shorts that reached about mid-thigh. Her shirt was a lime green v-neck and hugged her curves. He started breathing faster and had to blink several times to stop staring.

After she had gotten everything she needed out of her trunk, she lifted it up, struggling to put it on the overhead rack. She grunted, the trunk's weight threatening to topple her over.  
________________________________________________________________________

She had shoved the trunk almost all the way onto the rack, when the train lurched forward. The trunk toppled over the side, knocked her to the ground, and landed- no- hovered? – over her. She slowly pulled her arms down from their pr3evious position, guarding her face, and looked around for the person that had prevented her from being squashed like a bug beneath the 70- pound trunk. There, standing in the doorway, was none other than _the_ James Potter, levitating the huge trunk securely onto the rack and looking with concern at Lily.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his forehead wrinkled and eyes wide, hoping she wasn't hurt.

Lily was so startled by the intensity in his gaze and voice that she was a little unsettled.

"Um, thank you, Potter," she said, a little confused, "but why are you all the way over here? Shouldn't you be planning your first prank of the school year with Sirius and Peter?" she asked, a little annoyed by his unwelcome presence.

He raised an eyebrow, smirked, and just tapped his chest. He ruffled his hair cockily as Lily stared in shock and disbelief at his Head Boy badge. She burst out laughing, causing James to jump a little. He expected yelling, hexing, and even tears, or maybe all three, but NOT laughter

"You- Head… Boy… you've… got… to… be KIDDING me! HA!" she panted.

James smiled absentmindedly as he watched the petite girl shaking with suppressed laughter. He couldn't help the feeling of butterflies in his stomach as he caught a glimpse of Lily's sparkling green eyes, or the way his heart beat faster with just a glimpse of her flaming hair.

He groaned internally- he had it bad for Lily Evans.

Lily looked up, and saw James smiling absentmindedly, any and all cockiness gone from his face. She looked him over for the first time since that spring and saw how much he'd grown over the summer. He was slender, but built and tall. _He's really toned… _she thought, and then mentally shook herself. Ugh, she shouldn't be thinking these things about Potter… But she caught his eye and noticed how they seemed to sparkle. And, to top it all off, he was tan. Even his once dorky glasses seemed to make him look good. _Snap out of it!_ She thought. Her smile faded a little, but continued to laugh. "Who in their right mind would make YOU Head Boy?!"

James grinned and shrugged, taking in this new, laughing, and unhostile Lily. He liked her…a lot.

"Dumbledore must be off his rocker, don't you think?" he chuckled.

Lily smirked, finally gaining control of herself. Her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Are you _sure_ that's not Remus's badge?" she asked.

"Positive."

"Crap," she muttered under her breath, her grin fading. She brushed her flaming hair away from her face as she took in exactly what this meant. "Don't you _dare_ screw this up, Potter," she said, glaring at him.

He nodded and said, "Of course, as long as you at least attempt to not fall in love with me." He held a serious face as he continued, "And I don't want to start discussing baby names until at least tomorrow afternoon. Any time sooner would be a little inappropriate."

Lily rolled her eyes, stood up, and shoved him into the doorframe as she exited the cabin. "Prefects meeting. Merlin, Potter, _try_ to act your age." She walked past him, allowing a small smile to appear on her face while he wasn't looking.


	3. Chapter 3: Baby Names?

Chapter Three

_The meeting went fairly well…_ she thought, considering the circumstances…

Potter.

"Ugh." Lily opened the cabin door to the squeals of two girls, Marlene McKinnon and Alice Prewett, who leapt up and hugged her almost violently. Lily staggered and laughed.

"Marlene! How are you? How was your summer?!" Lily asked, pulling out of the hug to take a better look at the tall blonde.

She laughed. "Great! The Potters invited my family to go to the south of France with them and the Meadows. It was amazing! And look at how tan I am!" she said, sticking an arm out and comparing it to Lily's freckled one.

Lily grimaced. "I'm so sorry you and Dorcas had to deal with those two. Ugh." She shuddered.

"Who? Oh… Black and Potter…" Marlene wiggled her eyebrows. " Though prattish they may be, they're GORGEOUS without shirts on!" she said. She and Alice laughed.

Lily rolled her eyes and smiled at her two best friends.

"But seriously, Lils. James has grown up quite a bit! I wouldn't be surprised if you finally said yes to him!" Marlene warned, her eyes hardening very slightly.

Lily scoffed. "Yeah, right! He may be Head Boy, but he certainly hasn't matured nearly enough to even make me pause."

Alice and Marlene gaped at her. Then busted out laughing.

"You have… got to… be … JOKING me!"

"Merlin!"

They laughed, falling into their seats and clutching their stomachs with laughter.

"James… POTTER!" Alice gasped, tears of mirth rolling down her face.

The door suddenly slid open and-

"Someone called?" James Potter stood there, flanked by two of his three best friends who immediately entered, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Sirius wedged himself between Lily and Marlene, putting an arm around each, and Peter sat timidly next to Alice.

Lily grimaced jokingly and moved away from Sirius, scooting all the way to the edge of the seat, next to the window, and Marlene picked up his arm with 2 fingers and dropped it into his lap. "Aw, that hurts my feelings!" Sirius pouted at the two girls, putting his hands over his heart. Marlene and Lily laughed at this. " Listen to this, James, they're laughing at me!"

Alice was still getting control of herself as James caught Lily's eye and flashed his trademark grin at her. She rolled her eyes and stared out the window at the passing countryside, her bemused expression smoothing into a relaxed and thoughtful one as Sirius struck up a conversation with Alice and Marlene.

James swallowed nervously and tore his eyes away from Lily. He sat in her previous spot next to Sirius.

About ten minutes later, the door opened again and the fourth Marauder walked in.

"Moony! I saved a special seat for you!" Sirius said, patting his lap and wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Remus scoffed and sat down next to Alice while Peter sniggered awkwardly.

"How did patrolling go with Emmeline, Remus?? Lily said, smirking at him.

Remus blushed slightly and avoided her eyes as Sirius's jaw dropped.

"Emmeline? You mean _Emmeline Vance_? Moony, how in the name of MERLIN'S PANTS did you manage to end up dating her?! She's turned me down ever time I've asked her! And I'm ME!" Sirius said, shocked. Then he grinned. "Moony's got game!" He and James exchanged high-fives with Remus.

"Oh, _please_, Sirius, Moony is just as devilish as we are, isn't that right? He's just more subtle about it." James said, winking as Remus.

Lily laughed, a high, tinkling sound, and winked at Remus as well. He grinned sheepishly back, while Marlene said to Sirius, "Merlin's _pants_? Why are we discussing old men's clothing?"

Sirius put his arm back around her shoulders and pulled her closer so he could say in her ear, just loud enough for everyone to hear, "So, now you want to discuss men _without_ clothing?" Marlene grimaced and, laughing pushed his face away.

Potter turned to talk to Lily about a marriage he just happened to see in their future, and proceeded to name all thirteen of their future children.

Lily sighed as she listened to him talking animatedly of their wedding plans and told him off more than once, not hesitating to slap him when she deemed it necessary. She repeated at least a dozen times that they would NOT marry, but he persisted.

"Okay so the third boy… Ah-hah! Alfonzo. Too… Spanish? Nah, how 'bout Fredrico! Uh-uh… too flashy. What about…"

Lily sighed, "What about we save the baby names for later, Potter!"

"But later, we'll be busy with the wedding plans! And there's no time like the present! So what do you think about Harold?"

Lily groaned and prepared herself for a long train ride.

He watched as Lily helped the prefects guide the first years to the young gamekeeper, Hagrid. A small girl with wide brown eyes and long brown hair, who James assumed was muggle-born, was pushed onto the ground by a group of haughty-looking second or third year Slytherins. They laughed mockingly as the small girl landed in the mud, tears of embarrassment leaking out of her eyes.

Lily immediately gave them all one detention and docked their non-existent house points. They stopped laughing and glared at her as she helped up the first-year and smiled kindly, murmuring encouraging words to her. She siphoned all the mud off with her wand and as the Slytherins watched her scornfully, they muttered "mudbloods" and other obscenities under their breath.

James walked up to them, put on the most authoritative look he could muster, and said, "Ten more points, each, for obscenities. That leaves you with negative points already, and the term hasn't even started yet. I suggest you get into the carriages before you lose more.

The twelve to thirteen year-olds glared at the two Heads again and stalked off. Lily sent off the now cheerful girl. She turned and gave James a small smile and said, "Thanks for stepping in."

He beamed at her and said in return, "I'm not all bad, Evans.'

She gave a soft chuckle and walked off to her carriage, realizing for the first time that James had grown up, at least a little.


	4. Chapter 4: Weakness

Chapter Four

The next few weeks passed uneventfully, in spite of the marauder's annual beginning-of-the-year prank, consisting of Slytherins, opera, and Peeves.

Need more be said?

The seventh years were already regretting taking so many N.E.W.T.'s, so to lighten up the already stressed out atmosphere, the Marauders were up to more pranks than usual.

It was the first Monday in October and the entire Great Hall was roaring with laughter.

"Nice one! Oh, wow, we are amazing. Don't you agree, Mrs. Head Girl?"

Lily rolled her eyes, but grinned nonetheless at Snape's dramatic proposal to the thoroughly confused Herbology Professor, Professor Sprout. Mulciber, Avery, Rosier, and other sixth and seventh-year Slytherins were behind him, harmoniously singing a ballad, each on the verge of tears at Snape's touching proposal.

James high-fived Sirius, laughing too hard to respond to his comment. The Slytherins in front of the Head table shook themselves, blinked several times, and looked extremely perplexed as they took in their surroundings. Snape dropped the ring and jumped onto both feet, his face glowing with anger and embarrassment. He glared at James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter and he and the others stalked out of the Great Hall.

Lily snorted and turned back to her breakfast.

"You know they're going to get you back, don't you?" Marlene said, still laughing a little, but with worry creeping into her voice. "And I don't think they'll be nice about it."

Sirius laughed some more. "Oh, don't worry, Marley, we're big boys, we can handle it!"

Marlene rolled her eyes and turned to her food also. The Marauders had finally stopped laughing and were now accepting congratulations and praise from passing students, huge smiles lighting up their faces.

Lily picked up the Daily Prophet, still chuckling a little. She sobered instantly upon seeing the headline:

**Muggles In Surrey Tortured and Killed; You-Know-Who On the Rise**

She dropped her fork, which was halfway to her mouth, and grabbed at the paper, skimming through the list of victims, wide-eyed and terrified. She paled, letting out a shaky sigh and dropping the paper. She rubbed her watering eyes and her neck, got up, and walked out of the stiflingly happy Great Hall.

James watched Lily's amused expression fade into a mask of pure horror as she clutched at the Daily Prophet. She read feverishly, dropped the paper, pushed away her half-eaten breakfast, and walked quickly out of the Great Hall.

He saw her bag on the bench. Snagging it, he followed her out, trying to catch up with her.

"Evans! Hey, Evans! LILY!"

She started, turning around and looking preoccupied. She had her arms wrapped around her torso, as if to hold herself together.

"oh, James, hi." She said, blinking back tears.

"Hey I've got- you left your bag." He stuttered, holding it out to her.

"Oh, thanks." She said, looking surprised at his thoughtfulness.

"You called me James." He said, shocked.

She sniffed and looked up at him, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "You called me Lily."

James stared, incredulous. Lily peered at him for a couple of seconds, wondering why he was just standing there gaping like an idiot. She sighed and began to walk away.

"So that's the only thing that I needed to do to get on a first-name basis with you was to-"

"Call me by my first name, yes." Lily said, pausing still facing away from him, she added, "James, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything," was the immediate reply.

"Can you- can you go?" she asked, her voice thick with unshed tears.

"Lily? Are you- ? Okay… I guess I'll see you later?"

"Sure." Came the soft reply.

As soon as she no longer could hear James, she slung her bag over her shoulder, and took the corridor leading up to the owlery. She blinked back tears as the newspaper headline scrolled through her mind.

_Muggles in Surrey Tortured and Killed_

Her family was safe, they were okay…

_Muggles in Surrey Tortured and Killed_

They were fine, they weren't in danger anymore- the Death Eaters had moved on…

_You-Know-Who on the Rise_

The list of the 37 tortured and then brutally murdered Muggles scrolled through her mind, one name in particular standing out. _Jane Cameron Age 17._ She leapt up the stairs, taking 2 at a time, and raced to the owlery to send a letter to her parents. She walked into the musty room and leaned on the wall, breathing deeply. Instead of writing a letter, she slowly slid down into a sitting position, buried her face in her knees, and tried to resist the weakness that was pain.

She needed to be strong.

Sirius watched as his best friend followed Lily out of the Great Hall. He turned to face Marlene, confused and amused.

"Oi, Marley, what's got Evans's knickers in a twist? Is she sad Snivellus didn't propose to _her_?" he said, still chuckling at the Slytherin's expressions.

Marlene scoffed and rolled her eyes. She turned to face Alice who had picked up Lily's discarded paper and was reading it thoroughly, her brows furrowed.

"What is it, Al?"

She held up a finger, silencing Marlene. When she finished reading the article, she shoved it under Marlene's nose. Marlene stared at it, shocked. She yanked the paper out of Alice's shaking hand and skimmed the long article, reading only the headline and the list of names.

"Jane- oh Alice!" Marlene looked up at Alice, her eyes glassy with tears. Alice nodded, rubbing her eyes.

"And look how close they were to her home! She _lives_ in Surrey!"

Marlene put a hand over her mouth

Sirius was still chatting merrily with Remus and Peter, when he called to Marlene, laughing mockingly, "Evans isn't snitching on us, is she? I wouldn't be surprised." Peter laughed and Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes. Marlene stood up and slapped Sirius across his face.

"You pompous, arrogant, self-righteous _prat,_" she spat, her eyes flashing dangerously as she put her face close to Sirius's stunned one. The Gryffindor table was close to silent, everyone watching the scene unfolding before their eyes.

She shoved the paper in his face. "LOOK, you idiot. She _lives_ in Surrey."

Sirius and Remus exchanged a shocked expression as Marlene pointed out a name.

"Her _only_ Muggle friend. The only non-related Muggle that knows about _us_. She's dead, you imbecile."

Sirius moaned and put his head in his hands. "Sorry."

Marlene slammed the paper on his half-full plate and stalked out of the room, fuming. Alice shot a disgusted expression at Sirius and stood to follow Marlene out. "You should be ashamed of yourself." She muttered, shaking her head.

One by one, the Marauders left the Great Hall, Sirius last.

James checked the clock- it was almost time for lessons, and Lily hadn't come back to the Heads Common room. He jogged down the corridor and up some stairs, to the Gryffindor Common room, and looked for his friends, but they weren't there either. He went back into the corridor and pulled a small mirror out of his pocket, said, "Sirius Black," and the mirror turned black. "SIRIUS! LOOK IN YOUR POCKET, YOU OAF!"

"Alright, prongs, keep your hairnet on." Said a voice from the mirror. Sirius Black was looking out at James as he asked, "Do you have the map?"

Sirius nodded, looking a little puzzled. "In my pocket, we had to use it this mornin-"

James cut him off. "Where's Lily?"

Sirius's expression saddened. "Mate, I think you should leave her be."

James frowned, confused. "What happened? Why was she so upset?"

Sirius glanced at something James couldn't see. "I'm going to hand you off to Moony, Prongs. I'll talk to you later."

"Wait, what-" but Sirius was gone. James let out a grunt of frustration before Remus appeared in the mirror. _He looks more tired than usual,_James noted.

"Hey James, I'm going to come talk to you in person. Are you at the common room?"

James nodded. "Yeah, okay, but where'd Sirius get off to?" He asked, thoroughly confused and a little worried.

"I'll be there in a minute, okay? Then I'll explain everything." The mirror went blankand James groaned. He ruffled his hair, aggravated, and started to pace_._

_ What the heck was going on?_

_Something bad_, his subconscious answered. _And Lily was right in the middle of it_.

Lily sat against the wall, rocking slowly back and forth, trying to hold back the oncoming rush of tears.

"Lily?" a deep voice asked, sounding surprised. "Are- are you okay?" She looked up at the speaker, wiping her eyes and nodding. "No you're not, that's a dumb question. I'm sorry."

Strong hands gripped her shoulders and lifted her up as easily as if she were a small child, and pulled her into a comforting embrace. She buried her face into his broad, muscular chest and, for the first time in three years, cried. He tucked her head under his chin and rocked her back and forth, smoothing her hair and saying, "Shh, it'll be okay, it's all right. It'll be all right. Everything's okay."

She shook her head as she sobbed into Sirius Black. No- it would not be all right. Nothing would be all right.


	5. Chapter 5: Impossible

Chapter 5: Impossible

"What in the name of Merlin is this?" James stood in the entranceway to the owlery, staring at Sirius and Lily's embrace.

They pulled back from each other to look at James. He barely acknowledged Lily's tear-stained face and focused his heated glare at Sirius, anger and hurt barely concealed there. Lily, already flustered and embarrassed at herself didn't notice it there, but Sirius saw it plain as day.

"Calm down, Prongs, it's not what you think." Sirius hissed. Lily sniffed and strode over to where she had placed her bag.

James did a double take at Lily, his face betraying confusion and concern. He took a few hesitant steps toward Lily and said, "Lily? What- are you okay?"

She nodded and smiled shakily. She turned her smile to Sirius bashfully and said, "I'm sorry about all that. I- sorry. Thanks." She bent over and picked up her bag. Sirius watched her with a calculating expression.

"It's okay to mourn, Lily. She was your best friend. In fact, you're supposed to. If you don't mourn her I figure you're messed up." Lily straightened up, tense. "And it's nothing- you're like my sister. I just expect you to comfort me when Prongs here off's himself because you rejected him one too many times." Sirius smirked, whacking James on the back of the head, James repaying him in kind. Lily laughed at the brotherly exchange and said hoarsely, " Well if that happens, you know where to find me." She sidled past James, who reached out to stop her with his hand on her shoulder. She looked him in the eye, and James was stunned to see her eyes bright and blazing with grief and fury at her friend's murderers.

"Lily, I'm so sorry."

She nodded. "Thanks," she said quietly. Then she walked away.

James lifted an eyebrow. "Care to explain?" he said forcefully.

Sirius nodded. "Lily's my friend. Well, more like a sister. And I just felt bad for making fun of her to her friends; I didn't mean it in a mean way. You know me, I get carried away. Anyway, I felt really bad for making fun of her, and tried to see if I could find her. She's going through a difficult time right now. Her best friend died, I assume Moony told you all about that, didn't he?" James nodded. "So, she just lost an extremely close friend, and she's worried sick about her parents because the Death Eaters were just in her hometown, and she just really needs support.'

James looked shocked. "She told you all this?"

Sirius laughed and shook his head. "Merlin, no. I can read girls, James. That's why I'm just that good with them." He leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets and his arrogant smirk fixed on his face. James laughed and leaned next to him. "I just hope she's okay. They must've been really close for Jane to know about _us_."

"She's a big girl, she'll be fine. She just needs friends right now, mate, not a boyfriend."

James nodded. "Right, well, I'd better go to class, you coming?"

Sirius shook his head, "Nah, I'm gonna stay."

"Okay, later." Sirius nodded and James walked out the door, his hands in his pockets.

The arrogant smirk that was placed on Sirius's face faded as he wandered over to the owlery window and stared out. He snagged the Marauder's Map out of his pocket and checked to see- yup. Lily was, of course, in class. He watched James's dot speed down the Charms corridor, pause at the front of the classroom, and then go sit at his regular spot next to Remus.

He stared at a solitary, unmoving dot on the parchment for another couple seconds and then tapped it with his wand and muttered, "Mischief Managed." He watched the spidery lines fade and stuffed it into his pocket. He gazed outside the window again and thought, his brow furrowed.

Lily sat in the Head's Common Room. It had been shown to them by Professor Dumbledore, who had chuckled as they marveled at the large room with a couch, a loveseat, and two squashy and overstuffed armchairs centred around a magnificent marble fireplace. Everything was red and gold, because both Heads were Gryffindors, and there were huge bookcases with thousands of books on either side of a grand, sweeping marble staircase that ended with a platform. On the platform was a window and window seat next to which were two separate rooms, one labeled _Lily Evans_ and the other _James Potter _on gold plaques. All in all, it was worth being a Head (insert gender here) just for the dormitory alone.

Lily sat on that window seat, wrapped tightly in a blanket and clutching a pillow to her chest, staring out at the courtyard and over the steep and rustic mountains in the distance. This was how James found her at 11:00 at night. She barely registered his presence as he skipped up the steps two at a time and strolled over to her.

"Hey Lily, you left some of your stuff in Defense."

She looked up at him, startled. "Oh-oh, thank you." She said, getting up off the sofa and taking the parchment and books that he handed to her. "Well, I'm heading off to bed. Thanks again, g'night." She turned to leave when a firm hand grasped her arm and turned her back around.

"I didn't see you at dinner. Are you sure you're not hungry?" James asked skeptically, lifting an eyebrow.

"No, no I'm fine, James." Lily shook her head.

"Too bad. I am. We'll go to the kitchens and we can study while we eat, okay?"

"Uh, I don't think-"

"Great! Let's go."

The next two weeks passed in a blur for Lily. She acted the same as always, perky, enthusiastic, and sarcastic, but behind all the acting, she felt like she was being burned at the stake, like a proper witch. And even though it wasn't, she couldn't help but feel that it was _her_ fault for what had happened to Jane, and was worried sick about her family, because if anything happened to them, it really _would_ be her fault.

But, in the blur of worry, pain, and facades, specific moments stood out in her mind- the first Hogsmeade trip, spent with the Marauders- when she genuinely laughed for the first time, actually having fun during the late night study sessions with James that sometimes involved Sirius or Remus or, occasionally, Peter, potions class with Sirius, Remus, and Marlene- and they all seemed to involve the Marauders. She didn't know how she survived the first six years in Hogwarts without them. They were her best friends.

"So I have a question."

"Go for it."

"If it only took me calling you 'Lily' to get on a first-name basis with you, when I called you Lilykins or Lilyflower or trouble, why didn't you call me Jamesipoo or Jimmy or some other term of endearment?" James said, leaning back on his chair and putting his fork on his empty plate, which a house-elf then whisked away.

Lily scoffed. "Jamesipoo? Never. Not in a million years. It makes me want to projectile vomit. And Jimmy? Why- why in the name of Merlin would anyone _want_ to call you that? It sounds like someone's great uncle that's 102 and doesn't know who his wife is."

"Hey- my great uncle is 134 this March and he still remembers _me_."

"Well, honestly James, you're really difficult to forget," Lily said, her piercing eyes wide and sincere with a mischievous half-smile playing on her lips. James smiled. "I mean, I've known you for 6 years, and I'm scarred for life."

James laughed, tossing his head back. Lily smirked arrogantly, rivaling James and Sirius's signature look, then inhaled sharply as she recalled some fresher scars- some that would never heal completely.

James looked back at Lily, the happy expression sliding off his face as he saw her blank stare. He reached across the table, grabbing Lily's hand. He ignored how _right_ it felt- how it fit perfectly, the warmth radiating from the small hand, the tingles that shot up his arm and down his spine- and focused instead on Lily's empty expression and thinking of a way to make her smile again. Before he could say anything to make her laugh, however, Lily, looking down at her notes and carefully withdrawing her hand from his grasp, said, "We should go. It's getting late."

"Lily, wh-"

She stood and looked up at him, her eyes darkening slightly. "Its almost one in the morning, James."

He paused, looking her over. She needed rest, that much was certain. She looked tired and worn out, with bruise-like bags under her bloodshot eyes. James nodded, meeting her eyes.

"Okay, time to go." He stood. "Just do me a favor, okay?"

She looked confused and a little wary, but replied, "What?"

"I want you to take some dreamless sleep potion."

Her eyes flashed. "Why?" she said flatly.

His eyes blazed in response to her defiance. "Because I know you've been having nightmares and you can't sleep."

Her face hardened. "I don't need it." She crossed her arms.

James scoffed. "Yeah, right." He grabbed her forearm and pulled her out of the kitchens. "You're taking some."

"James, I'm telling you I don't need it!" She said sharply and yanked her arm free.

He turned, his own expression darkening. "That's crap and we both know it. Now you're taking that potion because you need at least one good night's sleep. You're one of my best friends and I take care of my friends, Lily. I'm not gonna stand here and watch you waste away in front of me."

"Best friends?" she paused, her expression unreadable, but inside, her heart was pounding. _Really_? She thought, hopefully.

James looked suddenly afraid, like she was going to walk out on their friendship. "Yeah, well, I mean-"

She smiled. "Okay."

The corner of his mouth turned up into his adorable, genuine half-smile, revealing a single dimple in his left cheek. "Now come on, I have some potion in my trunk."

Lily huffed and he continued walking.

"I don't want it, James!" she said, hurrying to catch up to him.

"Well that's just too dang bad, now, isn't it?"

"Ugh. You're impossible." Lily moaned, rolling her eyes and tucking her books into her chest.

"Also extremely chivalrous." James said, yanking the books out of her arms.

"Like I said- impossible." He smirked.


	6. Chapter 6: Curses

Chapter 6: Curses

The first Quidditch game, Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, dawned bright and cool. James woke early and headed down to pitch to check weather conditions, and then entered the great hall for breakfast. The rest of the Quidditch team was already there, looking nervous and picking at their food quietly.

"Perfect Quidditch conditions!" The Quidditch captain said cheerily to his teammates. "Aw, c'mon, its only Ravenclaw!" James encouraged them. "Liven up, this'll be a breeze!" He patted a nervous fourth year girl on the back and said, "Buck up, you'll be great, Gwen."

She smiled nervously, "It's just I've heard a lot of good stuff about the new captain, what's-his-name, Diggory. And its my first game and all…. I'm nervous."

Dorcas Meadows, a Gryffindor chaser, turned to the dark-haired Gwenog and said, "Don't worry, just focus on the bludgers, and you're golden. Trust me, you're a natural at this. You can do it!" she insisted, seeing the beater's doubting expression. She nodded smiled gratefully and returned to her food, looking more comfortable.

James grinned and said, "That's the spirit!" He grabbed a stack of toast and headed back out to the pitch, calling back to his teammates, "Be on the pitch in 15!"

He breathed in the cool, crisp autumn air and sighed contentedly, a slight grin on his face as he thought, _This'll be the first time that Lily will be cheering for _me_, instead of just Gryffindor. _He grabbed his broom, his grin widening as he hopped on and did a couple warm-up laps and stretched until the rest of the team showed up and joined him.

* * *

After a magnificent capture of the snitch by sixth-year, Aidan Kiely, resulting with Gryffindor winning 370 to 180, the fans, of course, rushed onto the pitch, crowding Aidan and James (who had scored the majority of the goals).

Lily, Marlene, and Alice stood off to the side, laughing at the marauders "shenanigans", as Professor McGonagall put it, albeit fondly.

Sirius and James were lifting Peter into the air and trying to get him to bodysurf over the crowd- it wasn't working. In fact the results were quite hilarious, explaining the girls' tears.

After a good 20 minutes of the "shenanigans", and much after the rest of the team, James headed to the changing rooms.

He shared a few jubilant words with some teammates who had already changed and were heading back to the castle for the inevitable party. He hummed happily, and, surprisingly, on pitch, with a beam on his face as he showered in the peaceful silence.

As he got out of the shower, he heard some people talking and laughing outside and Sirius' bellowing voice saying, "PRONGSY! HURRY UP! YOU'RE GONNA MISS YOUR OWN PARTY, MATE!"

"SHUT IT, PADDY!" came the amused reply.

He heard pretty, pealing laughter and his grin turned into a full-blown smile- Lily was waiting for him.

He turned, about to leave, when he heard a nasty, unpleasant voice spit "Where are you going, _Potter_?"

He turned back to face the empty- or not so empty any more- room. It was occupied with some of his least favorite people.

Bellatrix Black, Severus Snape, Avery, Mulciber, the Carrows, and Rosier were standing there, with their wands pointed at James. Bellatrix laughed softly at his surprise.

"Oh, poor ickle Potter wants to join his friends… _not likely_!" she hissed.

Snape smirked. He waved his wand and James was frozen, unable to reach for his wand, which was….

twirling in between Bellatrix's long, spindly fingers. Snape hissed something snake-like and James felt as though hot razors were slowly and agonizingly making their way down his body. He collapsed onto the hard, cold ground, barely registering the large amount of blood spilling from large cuts that sliced down his body.

He heard a sudden BANG and a voice yelling, "You stay away from him, you – you vile, disgusting-" BANG! "and 100 points from Slytherin! And three months detention! Now GET OUT!"

He saw a flash of red hair and wide, frightened green eyes. He heard a clatter of wands fall to the floor and a cry of "SIRIUS!" and loud cursing.

At least, he would've, if he'd been conscious.


	7. Chapter 7: Acceptance

Disclaimer: Wow, so I just realized I have not done one of these for any of my chapters. At all. Whoops!

Okay, so as much as I'd REALLY like to be J.K. Rowling and own Harry Potter's "Wonderful World of Magic" - I don't. Just putting that out there.

Thanks for all the reviews and favorites and alerts, etc.! I really do appreciate them. Suggestions and criticism are welcome too!

Chapter 7: Acceptance

He woke to the sound of soft and anxious chatter. Opening his eyes and blinking in the sudden brightness, he reached for his glasses on the table next to him. He placed them upon his nose and attempted to sit up, but once he had, he moaned softly at the pain that was piercing him in his – well – pretty much everywhere. He looked at his hands and wrinkled his forehead in confusion. Why was he so pale? And where did that scar come from? And why- why was he in the hospital wing?! All of a sudden, the memories of the previous day came flooding back- the Quidditch game, and the Slytherins. He sat up quietly, wincing in pain, and looked around. Remus was in the bed next to him and James groaned silently, remembering that he had missed the full moon. He continued his sweep of the room and noticed Professor Dumbledore and the young Madam Pomfrey speaking quietly in the corner of the room, looking grave. He spotted Sirius and Lily sitting against the wall, asleep. He looked at Sirius's face closely. He seemed happy, peaceful even, despite the evidence that he'd been in a fight. He had a cut through one of his eyebrows and his right eye was puffy and bruised. His nose looked as though it had been broken and then fixed by magic, and then broken again. And then fixed by magic. Again.

Lily was leaning her head against his shoulder and Sirius had his atop hers, snoring softly.

James smiled a little at the brotherly-slash-sisterly affection (for that's all it was, he reminded himself) and yawned.

Madam Pomfrey, now alerted to James's conscious presence, walked briskly to her storage cabinet, and back to James's side in a flash, handing him a blue potion.

"You are in here much too often, Mr. Potter."

He smiled and said, "Only for you, Madam Pomfrey."

She sighed and shook her head. Motioning to the blue potion he now had in his hands, she said, "Drink it, boy."

He raised an eyebrow warily. "What is it?"

She raised an eyebrow in return. "Blood-replenishing potion. Now drink it before I have to force feed you."

He choked down the burning potion and handed the empty goblet back to the impatient nurse. She nodded her approval and she and the Headmaster retreated to her office.

_It was a warm summer evening. 16 year-old Sirius appeared with a loud CRACK in a driveway in front of a nice, modest house, completely different from his old ho-living arrangements. Grimmauld Place was never his home. He stumbled over to some bushes by the side of the house and retched, heaving up half his dinner and a whole lot of firewhiskey. He staggered over to the front porch and all the way into the doorbell. He heard a voice cry, "I'VE GOT IT!!" and quick footsteps to the door. It opened and Sirius stumbled in through the doorway. He heard a sharp scream and clattering dishes and pounding feet. He looked up to see a horsy-faced girl and then a flaming red caught his eye. He looked over and saw a worried Lily rushing to catch him before he fell to the ground._

_ "Mother of Merlin, Sirius! What on earth happened?"_

"Parents disowned me. Not s'prised." Lily gasped and he heard another intake of breath. A kind-looking woman with a worried face was asking Lily if she "knew this boy" and "whatever on earth is the matter?" etc. etc. He didn't particularly care, he just needed to talk to someone.

_ "Lily – c'n I talk t'you?" he slurred._

_ "Of course. Mum, I'll be back later." She said, pulling Sirius's arm over her shoulders and placing one of hers around his waist. They made their way to an abandoned old park and sat on a bench._

_ After a couple minutes of silence, Lily said, "Why've you got a black eye?"_

_ He turned to look at her. Her expression was one of carefully concealed rage and not so carefully concealed worry. _

_ "Got in a fight, din' I?" He said, slouching on the bench and putting his arms on the back, behind Lily. _

_ Lily's voice shook with anger. "They hit you." _

_ Sirius shook his head. "Wasn' no 'they', it was a she. Woman I reckon I used to call mother." _

_ After another couple of minutes, Lily broke the silence. _

_ "I'm sorry, Sirius." She said softly._

_ "S'not your fault."_

_ There was another halt in conversation, but again, Lily broke the silence. _

_ "Why didn't you go to Potter, Sirius?" Lily asked boldly. "I know we're mates, but he's your BEST mate, isn't he?"_

_ Sirius frowned, his eyes unclouded and focused, almost like he wasn't drunk at all._

_ "I don't want questions or revenge. Or pity. He'd gimme all three. And not to mention Mum would go and yell at my so-called mother for being awful." _

_ "Oh."_

_ "And you wouldn't judge me."_

_ They sat there on that park bench for hours, neither talking until the silver moon, just a small sliver, was high up in the black June sky. Lily leaned her head against Sirius's shoulder and closer her eyes in the companionable silence. Her breathing began to even and she nestled the top of her head into the side of his neck. _

_ "You were right." She murmured, yawning. _

_ He smirked. "I always am."_

_ She chuckled softly._

_ "About what?"_

_ "I wouldn't judge you." She exhaled deeply._

_ He tentatively smoothed her hair and tucked it behind her shoulder. He rubbed his calloused thumb slowly across the soft, pearly skin of her neck and she sighed. His thumb came across a pink, puckered line from the back of her jaw, almost to the nape of her neck. He furrowed his brow and told her quietly, "You'll have to tell me how you got this one day." _

_ She hummed affirmatively and he smiled tenderly. If someone had seen him at that moment, they never would have believed that he had been drunk only four hours before. But they also would've noticed that instead of dark and brooding as they normally were, his eyes were bright and soft and _alive_._

And happy.

Lily blinked open her eyes and moaned a little bit at how stiff her back was. Sirius's head rolled off hers and leaned against the wall. She snickered softly as she stood. He was snoring. She stretched, wincing as her joints cracked and popped.

"What happened to him?" a voice said from her left. She whipped her head around and caught sight of a familiar face looking up at her from his bed, hands behind his head and a box of Bertie Bott's Finest in his lap. She smiled to see him acting like himself again and plopped down at the end of his bed.

"Its nice to finally see your eyes open, Mister Potter." She said, grabbing the beans and taking a handful.

He smiled too and snatched the box back. "Its nice to finally have them open, Misses Potter."

She scoffed and snagged the box of Bertie Bott's back. "Yeah, right. Try Ms. Evans."

"Well we're as good as married anyways, so it's only natural that I should call you by your future name."

Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Incorrigible, that's what you are. Mr. Incorrigible."

He laughed and Sirius snorted particularly loud. They both looked over at him and smiled. James asked again, "So what DID happen to him?"

Lily's smile faded. "He had a little run in with Regulus."

Sirius, Peter, and Lily exited the Great Hall, leaving all the sounds of breakfast behind them. Sirius and Peter leapt ahead of Lily, racing to see who could visit James and Remus in the hospital wing first. Lily laughed and shook her head, not even bothering to attempt to keep up. Soon she could no longer hear their shouts of, "CHEAT!" and "HEY!", and she quickened her pace. Hearing yells that no longer sounded playful, she jogged down the corridor and as she rounded a corner, she came upon Regulus and Sirius in a shouting match.

_ "-WHY YOU LEFT AND DECIDED TO BREAK HER HEART-"_

_ "THAT COLD, MISERABLE HAG DOESN'T HAVE A HEART!"_

_ Peter stood by, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. _

_ And then Regulus punched Sirius in the face._

_ Sirius tackled him to the ground, and they really got into it, throwing punches and slamming each other into the wall and ground. Lily stared for a couple seconds, shocked and shaking. She rushed forward, trying to prevent Sirius from punching his younger brother in the stomach a third time, when a chubby arm held her back._

_ She turned to Peter, fuming._

_ "Why are we just standing here?! Shouldn't we DO something?!" She hissed at him, rage flaring in her bright eyes._

_ Peter just shook his head. "Marauder rule: no involving yourself in other Marauder's fights, unless they start throwing dangerous hexes. Or they're trying to kill each other. And Sirius wouldn't kill Regulus, they're brothers, whether or not they like it."_

_ Lily shook her head. "Well I'm not a _ruddy_ Marauder." She turned back to the furious brothers, pushed past Peter's still outstretched arm, and shoved Sirius into a wall, placing a hand on his chest._

_ "You need to stop." She said forcefully, looking Sirius right in the eyes. Pointing a wand at Regulus's advancing form, she continued. "Two weeks detention for both of you and 20 points from Gryffindor and Slytherin."_

_ Regulus leered at her, his eyes glittering maliciously. "You'll get yours too, mudblood. Same as my dirty blood traitor brother and his friends, although it looks as though we already got one."_

_ Sirius lunged at him, but Lily's restraining hand prevented him. _

_ "Don't rise to his bait, Sirius." She said softly, turning back to him. He stared at her for a couple seconds and Lily said louder, not looking away from Sirius, "You can go, Regulus."_

_ He spat at her. "Don't sully my name with your dirty tongue." Sirius lunged again and Lily stopped him with just a few words- "It doesn't matter, Sirius. I don't care anymore." _

_ He looked down and his enraged face softened slightly at her words. _

_ Regulus spat again and walked away, leaving Peter, Sirius, and Lily in his wake. _


End file.
